Insanity’s Crescendo

Today I woke up and called my best friend to say hi. She seemed very sick and I figured since she doesn’t take good care of herself that she got the flu. I was quite wrong.

I got to work a little early and sent her a text telling her that I hoped she felt better soon. She replied that she had been taken to the ER right about when I was heading into work.

As I started my 9 hour shift (its against company policy to have a cellphone while at the job so I had no way of contacting her all day) with chaos on my mind I realized I was so out of practice with day shifts I was practically starting from scratch. Worst yet is that at the grocery store I work at it was senior discount day so I was dealing with entitled, hard of hearing, masses of people all day.

When I got off of work somewhere around 9pm I got to my car (which almost wouldn’t start in 40 degree rain) and realized my phone was dead. So after getting home in a dark and dreary night with flaky headlights I was able to charge my phone and call my friend. It turns out she didn’t have the flu but instead a kidney infection. I asked her what the doctors told her to get better. She said they sent her home with some pain meds and some antibiotics and that everything should be fine. I know I am probably worrying too much but she has been known to lie so that people won’t worry about her so I can’t shake this disturbed feeling of mine.

First a little back story: I love my guild but sometimes I really piss off my GM and most often I can’t even understand why it pisses him off that much. Well, I decided to play WoW a lil bit and grab a few emblems and such and ended up joining a guild raid for naxx. I figured since I knew naxx very well and how my guild used to handle it that thing would be fine if I stayed out of vent so I sent a tell to my GM (who was leading it) and let him know that I would be opting for chilling in silence and he didn’t seem to have a problem. Fast-forward a few hours and into the military wing we wiped on the 4 horsemen which we haven’t done in forever (wasn’t too unexpected with the newer people we were carrying around with us though). Well evidently in vent my GM came up with some hair-brained scheme to tank 2 of the horsemen at a time and neglect Zeliek for a short time while the other tank taunted one of the horsemen and ran it back to us. Well me being out of vent I got none of this so I did what I always did and we all ended up dieing after seeing no one on Zeliek. Well at this point I’m confused because I usually credit my guild with a little more insight then to leave one of the horsemen unattended. Well at this point my GM curses me out in front of everyone on at the time about me not being in vent and not having the awareness to understand what they were trying to do. Upon having one of the officers explain to me in a wisper what was happening I kept my mouth shut for the now third attempt even knowing it was going to fail even then. Most people would probably have said something but my day had been far too long and I just didn’t have the patience to care anymore so I just did as I was told and as expected we died horribly.

The biggest thing I think I have come to understand here is that even if you usually get along with everyone if someone doesn’t really like you there is very little you can do to cause them not to explode on you when they are in a bad mood. Even with me taking the place of what I at least believe to be the better of the decisions it still doesn’t make me feel any better. I have come to the conclusion that the only real thing you can control in your life is how you decide to react to things whether they be good or bad. Now to head out into that wonderful day known as friday the 13th…..

What do I do now?

I am a periodic altaholic and I have had many characters that have yet to hit 80….. Many people have the same issues but I can’t help wonder why the people who don’t can stick with only one character and enjoy it so much. For instance recently I’ve been thinking about how I can always get a group on my prot warrior, but the issue is I started a tank so I could tank if I needed to, sure I enjoy tanking sometimes, and I’m not horrible at it (at least from what I hear), but I wonder is it worth the trouble. Sure I enjoy my rogue, or should I say enjoyed my rogue until I hit the level cap and learned how to churn out damage with it, but now I look back at all the hardships I had with him and miss all the preparation I had to put into every fight. I think my hunter is the mucho awesomeness, but as it is- I can hardly ever get groups for him, I’m nearly maxed out on his professions, and I’ve done a huge chunk of quests on him already. I have my 66 deathknight and warlock which I enjoy…sometimes but I’m not sure I like the feel of a dwarf dk anymore and he would be like my 7th attempt to level one. My warlock is fun….loads of fun, but when push comes to shove I really don’t want to have to gear yet another character….

So here I am with 4 80s and one of them (my pally) I don’t even really enjoy at all. I’ve done some moderate raiding but in my guild I don’t feel pushed to achieve anymore in that arena. I don’t pvp because I don’t have the machine, experience, or reaction time for it- more honestly, I’m mediocre at best at it. So I just don’t know what to do right now. Some would suggest spending some time on another game- to be honest I first started playing to avoid spending so much on gaming and I would probably empty out my bank account doing so.

will the wonder never be found again?

All in all I miss exploring something new, figuring out how things were supposed to work, and most of all I miss the wonder of what else Blizzard had out there for me. Alot of people may consider this to be controversial but being someone who has done most everything in game several times I miss when things were harder, not harder just for the sake of being harder, but harder so that when I made a slight improvement, hit another level, went a new place- that I could see a difference, that I could have something new to master- now all I have is some memories of how things “felt” and when I come back to them I am never able to recapture any of that old fire. I’m sure I’ll get over this feeling soon, whether it be by finding something new or by forcibly making myself forget these realizations but what I can say now is a simple quote from an older sci-fi show I watched as a kid about time travel: “in truth, you can never go home, because home will change whether you do or not”

Ony 10 and my failures…

I recently have been trying to lead my guild through Ony 10 on my lil warrior tank, trying all the tactics we can concoct (and as a intj personality that is alot), and we’re still failing. Saddest part is mainly due to my inability to tank the elite adds (getting better though got Ony down a couple times to about 45% before the melee dps died and I got overloaded with 3 huge elites on me. I’m trying to keep positive about it and reminding myself that I shouldn’t beat myself over about it too much (I’m not even an officer).

Also in other news, I am still enjoying my dual specced survival/BM hunter with his lil white owl “Whiteknight” and even got to use him some yesterday instead of tanking continually and I have been missing my rogue alot these days, but I just don’t know how to rekindle the fire I had for playing ol Jack back in the day- I loved questing with him and having to use skillful cc to make sure I got through it alive- for that matter I miss cc in dungeons too- imo its one of the greatest things about my favorite instance HoL.

I miss the lil Guy

Tanking the System

Tiny Tank Against the World

Recently after hearing the Just Plain Better podcast from wcradio.com I decided to give my lil warrior tank another chance…. well my computer just didn’t agree. It was being more sluggish than usual ( it is 3 years old after all) so I decided to run my anti everything in the world applications I had….. I found nothing. So I dug up a site I remember an IT friend of mine mention a long while back. It was a bad idea   Well needless to say I got some nasty malware and such from Majorgeeks and after spending 12+ hours trying to get everything back to normal I’m hoping that I got all the spy-ware/viruses/general-bad-stuff and that at least one of the programs I downloaded wasn’t a trojan and did its job before I deleted all the old stuff, ran AVG antivirus, Spybot, and Malwarebytes, deleted them, re-downloaded, and ran them all over again.

Starting a blog

Pretty much the first time I made a place to openly air my thoughts on stuff. Hoping this turns out well. I play WoW and have an 80 hunter (Donovitch), 80 warrior (Sqtsquish(Blizz wouldn’t let me have Sgt Squish)), 80 rogue (Jackdaknife), and a fresh 80 pally I’m not too sure I care about (Gonovitch) all on Bloodhoof US